In a restless world like this is, love is ended before it's begun.
And too many moonlight kisses seem to cool in the warmth of the sun.
When I give my heart, it will be completely. Or I'll never give my heart
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way, too, is when I fall in love with you."
I love this song. I really do. And the older I get, the more I live, the longer I love, the more it comes to mean to me. I know, some may say I'm a sap. And I might be. But I really don't care. Because what was true in a song first sung over 50 years ago is still true today.
I'll admit I'm a strange romantic. I was definitely the young girl who thought about her wedding and the names of her children (Thanks to the game of MASH). I imagined what my home would be like and general day to day life. But it never occurred to me to really think about my eventual husband. I mean, I always figured I'd have one, but I never put any real thought into it. It's probably because I really do believe that there is someone out there being formed just for me, just like I'm being formed just for him. And, at this point in my life, it's probably someone I already know or have already come across. I digress.
I never thought about love. And that's probably why it felt like it hit me unexpectedly. Ok. Get ready, 'cause I'm about to contradict myself a bit here. I decided to fall in love. I know that everyone talks about how love just hits you and all that jazz. But I made an actual decision to fall in love with the person I did. Of course, I didn't figure out how to climb out of love, but that's for another blog. I didn't so much pick the person or even the time, but I did make a mental decision that I was ready for love. Of course, that might have needed a little more forethought as to whether or not he was ready, or wanted, love. (He either wasn't or didn't).
So here's the point of all this roundabout chatter. I always knew I'd be for one. Just the one guy forever. That hasn't happened yet. But I'm thinking now that I might be involved in a snafu. I might have taken my one shot love and used it up. If that is the case (and, I don't actually know this for sure), then what's left? Sometimes I think that if I'd heard this song back when I'd decided to give my love (love, not sex) to him, I'd have decided otherwise. Probably not. He felt worth it then, feels worth it now, and I'm hedging he'll feel worth it until I can't feel anymore. Yes, he may turn out to never be worth it. But I fell in love and gave my heart, forever and completely. Too bad I didn't wait until I felt he felt the same way, too.
