Depending on your relationship status (ranging from stranger to long-term boyfriend), the following words can mean a number of things. Luckily, I'm here to let you know when it's safe and when it's a red flag.
"You're going to be such a great wife and mother."
"I can see myself happily married to you."
My personal favorite: "I think you're the mate I've prayed for my whole life." Tch.
Added due to popular demand: "You're wifey material."
[Insert your own hint toward the long-term here]
I know, I know. These seem to be sweet words, meant to warm you on the nights when you maybe wonder if... you know. (Admit it, you've wondered). But, take my word for it, these words could be the beginning of the downward slope. See, if you hear this from a fiance', duh, he's not only thought and said these things but put a plan into action. A boyfriend or guy you're dating might be trying to gauge your reaction in order to plan his next move. A male friend that you have interest in/ has an interest in you? He's the most dangerous. Almost without fail this translates to "You're great but we are so not happening." If he's a stranger, you can chalk it up to an observational compliment and enjoy it.
Don't think that I'm sharing this because I'm jaded. I'm actually not. But, I have always been surprised when the men who told me these things then moved on to the next best woman {see previous blog}. Yes, it happened more than once.
The first time I was in a committed something, and was completely surprised by the sentiment, but pleased. I tried not to read too much into it, figuring if I clung too tightly it would slip away from me. *sarcastic laugh* Anyway, instead of building up, it just disappeared one day. Not a dwindling away or a falling apart. It just wasn't anymore.
The second time around, I was a more cautious woman, avoiding a commitment altogether. I thought myself to be wiser and more realistic. I loved this guy, but wasn't head over heels like I'd been with Guy 1. I figured I'd play it smart and do my own thing. I was again pleased to hear those words, reminding myself that I'd stumbled before. And, again, it disappeared. I know. It seems inconceivable that the same thing would happen to me twice. The same way! And always, always, ALWAYS for another woman that seemed to crop out of nowhere. {related blog to follow}
While I learned a number of things from these encounters (the least of which is that long distance is not my thang), I've learned to beware words that make my heart feel fuzzy, hugs warmer, and kisses dizzying.
***WARNING*** This does not mean that ANYtime you hear such words from ANY man, he's bullsh!tting you. Hell, he might just be legit.
3 comments:
Honesty should always be the policy, but when it is not, you have to look and the why. Most men are cowards, sadly. Meaning, if you put a question to them or mention a subject where they are afraid to hurt feelings, then they sometimes respond with cliches and such. Also, these phrases are used to 'be nice' to some people and prevent feelings form being hurt. My policy is honesty. I hate dudes who lead on ugly (physically or personality) women that they don't want in any way, shape, or form.
My point being...don't get sucked into the lies, but remember to seek truth.
you forgot the proverbial "you're wifey material."
i hear your gripe though. if a man really wants you, he'll show it and there's nothing anyone can do to stop him! remember this.
Yes, it makes the most sense for a man to just grow a pair and be honest, but we all know that isn't reality. I mean, maybe I don't get it, what are the benefits of leading someone on? Is there some catch that I'm unaware of?
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