24 February 2008

Fairy tale Lies?


I was never the girl who believed her life would be a like the fairy tales. I didn't identify with the princesses in the stories. And why should I? My daddy didn't run a country; just our house.
All I ever wanted out of life was to be happy. Not that Cinderella happy that just happens because you're that good. For one, I just wasn't that good. I was OK, I guess, but not that movie princess good. I mean, who's that good, anyway? So I never hoped for the easy, no-work, happily ever after. Then I met HIM.
I'd met lots of guys. I expected no more from him than any of the ones I already knew. Really, I expected less. Three months into college had made me a pre-jaded young woman; wary of more than I'd like to admit. But I guess that just show how life really can be like a fairy tale: Things are never quite what they seem or what you expect.
With HIM, the proverbial shoe fit. HE made me feel like royalty. Like I was more than the wonderful I already considered myself to be. It was a heady feeling. To be more than you imagined means you can let down guards, break down walls, and give access. All of these I did. I could finally share my hopes, dreams, trepidations, and fears. I could laugh or cry freely without ever feeling judged. I could curl into a ball, rock myself out of pain and into sleep, and HE'd be beside me when I awoke, rubbing my back and whispering reassurances. Frightening how free I became, how open. With HIM I was literally without guile or malice. How could I be? To be accepted completely allows you to accept others completely. It was never fairy tale easy. If it were, it probably wouldn't be worth having. But it was glorious, memorable, and inexplicably...sharp.
Years after I was too old to believe in fairy tales I saw a spark of truth. I saw what my girlfriends saw when they were watching those movies that are, today, proclaimed to be liars.
Who knew? The little girl who never believed in fairy tales would grow into a woman who was living one.

No comments: